Although the evening’s first bout ended with the Cosmos hanging onto their undefeated position by a healthy point margin, the Pissahs made the Cosmos fight to maintain their top spot, and every jam was exciting for the raucous and loyal Cosmo and Pissah fans. The game opened with a huge jam for the Pissahs, with Bad Person racking up 33 points while Jackie K.O. was held back by the Pissah pack before being sent to the penalty box. A run of penalties ended the jam with only two Pissahs and one Cosmo blocker on the track and Bad Person on the way to the box herself. Elle L. Cool Jam won back 23 points for the Cosmos on her power jam, but for the next several jams the teams traded lead jammers and kept the score low and the Pissahs in the lead. With blockers in the box on both sides, the Cosmo and Pissah packs had to work extra hard. Pissahs Maully O’ffender and Knuckle Sammy, as well as Cosmos Vixen TaHitCha and Space Invader, showed what two well-coordinated blockers can do to slow down a jammer.

In the fifth jam, Cosmo HardCore and Pissah Stevie Nixher both picked up penalties and returned to the track to fight for the full two minutes. HardCore earned 15 for the Cosmos, and Nixher (down a toe stop by mid-jam) gained eight for the Pissahs. The Cosmos pulled ahead after that, with Elle L. Cool Jam, Artoo Detoonate, HardCore, and Jackie K.O. all contributing to the lead. Artoo Detoonate was able to capitalize on a power jam, putting up 27 points for science and solidifying the Cosmo lead. A subsequent run of eight lead jammers in a row for the Pissahs– with The Gun Show, Bad Person, and Knuckle Sammy each taking several leads and putting up points– was unable to close the gap due to tough Cosmo defense and fast chases by Cosmo jammers. The Cosmos were able to end the Pissah streak by taking lead jammer in the last three jams and ending the half in the lead.

In the second half, the Cosmos took the lead jammer in twenty out of twenty-five jams. But Pissah packs were strong and the Cosmos were forced to build their lead slowly. Cosmo jammers struggled against the strong Pissah defense and would find themselves being chased by speedy Pissah jammers. A particularly strong Pissah blocking performance was represented by Neurotic Tendency, Ubee Trounced, Estrogeena Davis, and the Pissah MVP Annie Malistick. However, penalties ate away at the Pissah walls, and with frequently fewer than four Pissah blockers on the track, the Cosmo packs were able to play defense and offense, getting their jammers out faster than their out-numbered competition. Cosmo blockers Vixen, K.O., and Cosmo MVP Tears for Phearsome, made the job of the Cosmo jammers easier. Even a late-game twenty eight point power jam by Bad Person (who earned three out of the Pissah’s four second half lead jammers) couldn’t stop the Cosmo momentum, and the bout ended 289 to 134 in favor of the Space Brain.

The second bout pitted the Arkham Horrors against the Nutcrackers. The Nuts had experience on their side, but the Horrors had been picking up momentum through their first season together, and the teams that came to the track were closely matched. The first half saw the Nuts take lead jammer ten times to the Horrors’ nine. The Horrors put up more points due to early power jams by MC SlamHer, Flyin’ King, and Wanda Herchu. When both jammers were on the track, the jams were short, hard-fought, and low-scoring, with several exciting jammer chases forcing 0-0 call-offs. The ninth jam saw Flyin’ King and Belle Air Bomber facing two very tight walls. They emerged from their initial passes at nearly identical times, but with Belle earning lead jammer, and had to race each other back to the pack to grab four points each before Belle called it off.

Tough blocking on both sides made for a very difficult half for the jammers, with Nutcrackers Maya Mangleyou and Planitz Collide, and Horrors Crazy Dukes and America Ferocious (Arkham’s MVP for the night) making opposing jammers fight for every point. The tenth jam saw the Nuts close the point gap considerably as Nutcracker MVP Haddie Collider put up 33 points, and MC SlamHer struggled against a wall of Nuts while missing a toe stop. This brought the Nuts’ score from 24 to 57 against the Horrors’ 65. And then, towards the end of the first half, the Nutcrackers were able to turn the score around. With Crazy Dukes starting in the box, Maya Mangleyou was able to capitalize on a power jam in favor of the Nuts. Mandoline Slicer, Mystic RIPher and Dottie Danger were able to neutralize Dukes once she returned to the track, which allowed the Nuts to score a 34-0 jam, and take the lead 113-112. Another 19-point power jam by Dr. Pepper Spray against a formidably Horror-ific wall put the Nuts ahead 132-114 at the half.

The Horrors started the second half strong with tough walls and hard hits. When America Ferocious and Captain Hook were able to draw a track cut on the Nuts’ jammer in the third jam, Arkham’s Little Buckaroo put the Horrors back in the lead with a 25-point power jam. The score remained tight, and after Flyin’ King and Dottie Danger finished trading power jams, the score was tied 176-176. The Horrors were able to pull ahead again slowly, taking the lead in eight of the last 12 jams. A number of Nutcracker blocker penalties meant the Nuts were often outnumbered, with only pairs of solitary dancers facing off against walls of four working for the Ancient One.

Still, Nutcracker defense did not give in easily. Crown Joules and Mystic RIPher were able to slow down Flyin’ King on her final power jam, with well-coordinated partner blocking, and Maya Mangleyou did some impressive blocking and jamming as she had throughout the game. The Horrors were admirably cohesive and, despite having only played together since this spring, worked together with unity. They were able to use their pack advantages to hold back the Nuts’ strong jammers while getting their own jammers the lead, which resulted in a final score of 236-211 in favor of the Horrors, and a spot in the Home Team Championship bout against the undefeated Cosmonaughties.

Written by Sarah Courtney (Wild Boardom)

Photos © Joe Medolo 2013

DON’T MISS THE GOLDEN FEZ CHAMPIONSHIP DOUBLE HEADER ON SATURDAY, DECEMBER 14TH!

Boston Derby Dames fans have waited patiently during the off-season for the return of roller derby, and they were rewarded on March 16th with the Dames’s eighth season opener, featuring Boston’s all-star WFTDA-sanctioned and interleague teams. This highly-anticipated event had Shriners Auditorium in Wilmington packed to capacity to watch the Boston Massacre and Boston B Party face off against the Montréal New Skids on the Block and Montréal Sexpos.

BOSTON B PARTY vs MONTRÉAL SEXPOS
Final Score: 211-152 Sexpos

The first bout of the evening saw the Boston B Party square off against the Sexpos from Montréal. The B Party has seen significant changes to its roster since the team last faced the Sexpos back in July 2012; new faces include transfers Flyin’ King (Mass Attack Roller Derby) and Li’l Buckaroo (Ft Myers Derby Girls), along with Boston home team skaters Artoo Detoonate and Elle L. Cool Jam (Cosmonaughties), Neurotic Tendency (Wicked Pissahs), and Wanda Herchu (formerly Nutcrackers; now co-captain of the new fourth home team).

Fans were hopeful that the Sexpos’ massive wipe out during their introduction might spell good luck for the B Party, but the pile-up appeared to be a fluke. In the first jams of the bout, the Sexpos carefully executed strategies that allowed them to grab both lead jammer and a few points each time on the track while shutting out the B Party.

Flyin’ King and her blockers put a stop to the Sexpos’ early momentum before long by using the team’s own strategy against them, and a few jams later, King benefited from the first power jam of the evening, scoring 25 points with five successive passes around the track to put the B Party in the lead with 41. B Party jammers Elle L Cool Jam, Speed Metal, Wanda Herchu, and Li’l Buckaroo continued to inch up the score while Sexpos blockers and jammers hammered at them with equal force. With 13 minutes remaining in the first 30-minute half, the Sexpos tied the game at 49; the next jam saw a score increase of one point from each team to bring the tie to 50-50.

B Party blockers continued to land some big hits throughout the first period. During a power jam in favor of the Sexpos, the B Party’s Dottie Danger successfully recycled Sexpos jammer Demanda Lashing to the back of the pack twice, working with Neurotic Tendency and Belle Air Bomber to keep her from racking up easy points. Unfortunately, penalty minutes and hard-working Sexpos blockers began to bruise the B Party, giving the Sexpos an 87-72 lead at halftime.

The Sexpos maintained that lead in the second half, as major penalty trouble laced the remainder of the bout for the B Party, causing the Boston team to bleed points as its players circulated through the penalty box. More than once, the B Party found themselves with only one or two blockers on the track.  

During a power jam, sole blocker Estrogeena Davis managed to take the Sexpos jammer out of bounds, but there was little she could do on her own to keep her there, allowing the team from Montréal to increase their lead 131-81. Even Flyin’ King’s 19-point power jam in the second half couldn’t match multiple power jams by the Sexpos.

But the B Party fought on. Dottie Danger took the jammer star, literally making sparks fly off her skates for a few moments as she whizzed through the pack to score a few points on the Sexpos. Artoo Detoonate displayed superb blocking skills by opening holes for jammer Wanda Herchu, and then followed her blocking streak with a stint wearing the jammer star, earning a quick four points with a hop over the apex before calling it off as a hit from Tabarnouk sent her sliding across the floor.

With less than a minute on the clock, B Party blockers Neurotic Tendency, Estrogeena Davis, Belle Air Bomber, and Crown Joules displayed amazing teamwork to hold off the Sexpos’ Bikini Skills, allowing Elle L. Cool Jam to sneak in with a few final points. They weren’t enough to win the B Party the game, however, and the Sexpos rolled off the track with a well-fought 211-152 victory.

Bout MVPs, selected by the opposing team’s captains and managers, were Dottie Danger #666 (B Party) and Falcon Punch #66 (Sexpos).

BOSTON MASSACRE vs MONTRÉAL NEW SKIDS ON THE BLOCK
Final Score: 188-117 New Skids

Following a brief intermission, tension and excitement in the auditorium rose as the Dames’ all-star WFTDA-sanctioned team the Boston Massacre prepared to face off against the Montréal New Skids on the Block. The Massacre was recently ranked #21 in the world by the WFTDA, behind the New Skids at #17. These two teams have shared a friendly rivalry for years, and after Massacre’s defeat at WFTDA East Regionals last year by the New Skids, fans were begging for a rematch.

The Massacre’s lineup has remained virtually unchanged since the 2012 season; fan favorites Li’l Paine, Shark Week, Maya Mangleyou, and Ginger Kid have all returned to don navy. Additionally, longtime Providence Roller Derby skater Craisy Dukes has joined the Boston all-stars, adding one new item to the uniform: her signature daisy duke denim cutoffs.

Dukes took the star for the first jam of the evening, facing off against the New Skids’ Iron Wench. Unfortunately, she was pushed off the track by Montreal’s blockers before the first turn and soon thereafter was sent off to the penalty box on a track cut, handing the New Skids its first power jam of the night. Despite hard-fought blocking from Boston, Iron Wench took advantage of the power jam to bring Montréal to an early 20-0.

The rest of the first half brought more penalty trouble for Boston jammers, allowing Montréal to continually rack up more points in power jam situations. The New Skids’ offense repeatedly pushed Massacre blockers off the inside line around the turns, allowing Montréal jammers to sneak by time and again. Boston’s continued big hits to the outside line failed to match Montreal’s clear control of the inside, and by halftime, the New Skids had increased their lead 101-44.

That halftime allowed both the Massacre and their fans time to reevaluate, and both came to the second half newly rejuvenated. The ladies from Boston quickly showed why they were ranked 21st in the world by changing up their strategy and implementing smart, tight game play. The fans, meanwhile, responded with hearty chants of “Boston, Boston: pinch, pinch, pinch,” encouraging their team to fight on.

Reemphasis on Boston’s tightly-formed walls in the second half helped trap Montréal jammers, allowing them to pick away at the score jam after jam. During one standout power jam against Boston, Ginger Kid routinely recycled New Skids jammer Greta Bobo to the back of the pack, where she then got stuck behind blockers Anna Wrecksya and Salome Splatter. The Kid followed with a swoop in to knock Bobo out again, who became so frustrated she called off the jam, picking up a mere five points. Superb teamwork continued a few jams later when Shark Week, Bad Person, Vixen Ta Hitcha, and Dixie Kicks used their combined forces to push Iron Wench out, allowing Boston jammer Space Invader to score.

Not to be outdone by her blockers, Li’l Paine whipped around the track on a standout power jam to the deafening roars of the crowd, scoring the Massacre 25 points and tightening the score 110-154. That jubilation was short-lived, however, as with just three minutes remaining on the clock, the New Skids followed Lil Paine’s power jam with one of their own—the eighth against Boston that evening—and that brought the official final score to 188-117.

Bout MVPs were Shark Week #1987 (Massacre) and Li’l Mama #12 (New Skids).

MARCH 16 ROSTERS

B Party Roster: B33P Artoo Detoonate // 06 Beantown Brawler // 57 Belle Air Bomber // 3Nm Crown Joules // 1 Dee Stortion // 666 Dottie Danger // 429 Elle L. Cool Jam // 2997 Estrogeena Davis // K1N6 Flyin’ King // 10 Jackie KO // 9 Li’l Buckaroo // 5150 Neurotic Tendency // 510 R.O.U.S // Pt78 Speed Metal // 3 Tiny Dancer // 146 Wanda Herchu

Sexpos Roster: 6 Bikini Skills // 898 Code V // 33 Demanda Lashing // 66 Falcon Punch // 27 Ghostface KillHer // 1773 Magnum P.E.I // 23 Ninja Simone // 0 Ohi // 666 Sneaky Devil // 9 That’s What She Said // B52 Too Killa Bing Bang // 118 Trash ‘n Smash // 200 Waxey McBush // v8 Wonderbrat // 187 Slavic Slayer // 543 Tabarnouk

Massacre Roster: 101 Anna WrecksYa // 55 Bad Person // 5 Craisy Dukes // 1081 Dixie Kicks // 43 Ginger Kid // 103F Hayley Contagious // 451 Li’l Paine // 011 Lois Carmen Dominator // 1111 Maya Mangleyou // 71 Maude Forbid // 859 Salome Splatter // 1987 Shark Week // 1978 Space Invader // 357 Vixen TaHitcha

New Skids Roster: AK47 Assassinista // 1111 Bone Machine // 454 Chasing Amy // 289 Cheese Grater // 40 Georgia W Tush // 8080 Greta Bobo // 516 Iron Wench // 8 Jess Bandit // 86 Lady J // 2 Lil Mama // 420 Mel E. Juana // 38 Rae Volver // 3X Smack Daddy // 658 Surgical Strike

(Photographs of this bout courtesy Joe Medolo and David Morris.)

— Written by Kate Black

Blockers Anna Wreckysa, Shark Week and Vixen TaHitCha stood out in the first half for the Massacre, showing impressive speed when switching from offense to defense. For Montreal it was all about pack speed control: veterans Jess Bandit, Smack Daddy and Surgical Strike held the pack to a crawl at points as they dictated the pace.