Fun fact: trying to jam in a two minute drill is pretty effing exhausting. So is practicing knee falls on the whistle, blocking, and most everything else involved in derby. Your heart rate gets up there. If you don’t start derby with a fair amount of cardiovascular fitness, you will most likely need aerobic cross-training to help you keep pushing through three-hour practices and sprint after runaway jammers.

Aerobic exercise includes running, walking, hiking, swimming, biking, rowing, ellipticizing, jazzercising, Zumba-ing, running Harvard Stadium until you want to vom… Basically, anything that gets your heart rate to a place where you can’t speak a ten-word sentence without having to catch your breath.

You may be thinking, “Okay, I’ve got this!” Women tend to be (though not always, obviously) more comfortable with cardio than other forms of training. Most of us have been on an elliptical or treadmill at some point in our lives, even if we’re not avid gym-goers. But cardiovascular training for a sport is a bit different from a jog through the park or lolling on your favorite machine while you watch an episode of Dr. Who on your iPad.

Choose your weapon

First, it’s important to consider what type of cardiovascular training you’re doing. Especially when you get into multiple derby practices per week, you have to be careful not to overtax the muscles you’ll use while skating, or further muscle imbalances that can lead to injury. Here are some things to consider when choosing your cross-training method:

Running – Everybody knows how to run, right? And it’s pretty similar to sprinting after somebody during a scrimmage. Makes sense that running would be a good option for cross training for derby, right? Not so fast—not all running is created equal, and some may hinder your skating. Think of it this way: The front of your legs (the quadriceps), the muscles that flex your hip, and calves all get a lot of work while skating. Interestingly, these muscles are also used a lot when you’re running on a treadmill, because your body is trying to lift your legs up to keep up with the moving belt; conversely, if you run outside, you tend to use more of the opposing muscle groups (like your butt) to help propel yourself forward. More butt action = happier derby playing. Your best bet? Run outside, particularly with some hills along the way (which give you even more posterior chain involvement). If you do have to run inside (hey, it’s been effing cold out lately—I don’t blame you)—make sure to jack up the incline to at least 2% (if not more) to better simulate outdoor running and keep your legs healthy for skating. (Okay, so I wrote this paragraph, and then the next morning, this article was released, explaining that a biomechanics research found a lot of what we thought about treadmill running is wrong. So take everything with a grain of salt. Except for the stuff about hills.  Run on hills. They’re good for your butt.)

Biking – A great low-impact option for improving your cardiovascular fitness; like running, going outside is probably better for your body than staying inside. Biking does have a tendency of tightening up the hip flexors, so be wary if that’s a problem spot for you normally. That said, a good spin class is a great option for getting your interval training on (more about interval training in a second).

Elliptical – Another low-impact option if your body’s not too fond of running. Just keep in mind that unlike a treadmill, which forces you to maintain a certain pace, it’s easy to start slacking off as your body gets tired on the elliptical. Pay attention to your strides or repetitions per minute and try to keep up a consistent pace. Also, even if the machine tells you that you’ve been burning a zillion calories, don’t believe it: the numbers are very skewed. Judge how hard you’re working by how you feel—if you can only say a few words at a time without catching your breath, than you’re working hard. If it’s easy to carry a conversation with your derby wife on the next machine over, you’re probably not burning 1000 calories per hour.

Stepmill – Or better yet, stadiums. A lot of our league members will run up and down the stairs of the Harvard stadium. Nothing gets your heart pumping and your butt muscles firing like running up and down stairs. No matter how in shape you are, running up stairs will challenge you.

Plyometrics and such – One of the best ways to get your heart working is to do a bunch of different quick movements that get your heart rate up—things like jumping rope, hopping on one foot, squats at a very fast pace, swinging kettlebells, etc. String a bunch of fast-paced exercises together, and you’ll end up with the best possible cardio workout for your body: one that takes you through various movement patterns and speeds that keep your body guessing.

And then what?

Once you figure out what kind of aerobic training appeals to you, you’ll want to figure out a plan of action that will benefit you most. There are a few approaches to cardiovascular training, each with different purposes.

Choose the method of cardiovascular training based on what you need help with in derby– If you’re struggling to make it through your red tape practices without a lot of breaks on the sidelines, then working on your overall endurance will help the most. In that case, you’ll aim to do steady, moderate-intensity exercise of your choice a couple days outside of derby practice, building up from twenty to thirty minutes of training towards an hour or so. Just try to keep your heart rate up to a level where it’s difficult to speak more than a sentence without catching your breath.

If you’re fine getting through the duration of practice, but can’t catch up with the opposing jammer when she’s skating away from the pack, you may want to try some high intensity interval training (HIIT): sprint/jump/what-have-you as hard as you can for thirty seconds to a minute, recover for twice that time, then repeat for a total of ten or twenty minutes. (Note that interval training actually helps with increasing overall endurance as well, but if you can’t maintain moderate-intensity activity for a half hour, then HIIT may not be the best option to start.)

Finally, consider how much training you should be doing. Your practices will definitely help with your cardiovascular fitness, so plan accordingly. If you’re going to one day of practice, you probably want to have at least two days of cardiovascular training. If you’re going to two practices, you could probably have anywhere between one to four, three practices would merit between one and three days of training, and so on.

Some folks will do both practice and cardio on the same day; while there’s nothing wrong with this method of training, it’s taxing on the body and isn’t something you jump into immediately. You want to make sure you slowly build up your quantity of exercise over time—a good rule of thumb is only increase your work load by about 10% per week on average. Thus, if this week you did two two-hour practices and then two 45-minute cardio sessions (a total of 330 minutes), you could safely add another half hour session in the following week. Always listen to how your body feels: if you’re extremely fatigued, have a hard time sleeping (or sleep all the time), find your appetite has changed, etc, then it’s time to take some rest.

But wait! There’s more! Next time we’ll talk about agility training and the nuances of training that bridge the gap from girl-who-kind-of-likes-to-skate to athlete.

Lead Jammer: Calling it Off
The first jammer to successfully pass each player in the pack, legally and while remaining in bounds, is lead jammer. This is not always the first jammer to emerge from the pack, so look for the jam referee pointing at the jammer with one hand and holding his or her arm above their head making an L with the other as the signal. On subsequent laps through the pack, both jammers score points for each opposing blocker or pivot they pass legally, including those seated in the penalty box. The lead jammer can make the strategic decision to end the jam at any time before the two minutes are up. She signals to the referees that she is calling off the jam by placing her hands on her hips and will often do this to prevent her opponent from scoring points.

Is That Legal?
TOTALLY!
• Hitting from the side with shoulders, torso, or hips
• Whipping or pushing a teammate
• Leaping and jumping is completely legal (and awesome!) as long as skaters don’t initiate
blocks while both skates are off the ground
• The Sheriff—hitting the front (sternum) of an opposing skater using their legal blocking zone
• The Slay Ride—a booty block that lifts the opposing blocker off the ground and carries them
a few feet across the track
• Whiffing—landing out of bounds after attempting, and missing, that really big hit

NO WAY!
• Blocking with elbows, forearms, hands, or head
• Engaging any skater more than 20 feet in front of or behind the pack (listen for the refs to call “Out of Play”)
• Skating out of bounds—players can’t purposely skate out of bounds, nor can they engage
opponents or assist their teammates while out of bounds
• Cutting the track—passing skaters out of bounds and re-entering the track in front of them. Cutting multiple skaters, or cutting the last opposing blocker will send you directly to the penalty box for one minute. Watch out jammers!
• Blocking from behind
• Holding, tripping, grabbing, clotheslining, shoving, punching, or chair throwing—this ain’t
your mother’s roller derby!

Referees will assess skaters penalties at the moment penalties occur. Watch
for the referee’s’ hand signals that inform the skater of the penalty they have committed. Also, listen for an accompanying single whistle blast. After the penalty is called, a skater sits in the penalty box for one minute and her team skates one player short. Jammers can have their penalty shortened if the other team’s jammer gets called on a penalty while the first jammer is still serving her penalty. The second jammer will then sit for the same amount of time that the first jammer served. There is space for up to two blockers and one jammer in the box. If the box is full, the skater must return to the track until a teammate stands up making space for the player to sit and serve her penalty in the box.

What’s with All Those Referees?
We hear it all the time, “Dude, there are more officials than skaters out there!” It’s true, but it really does take a small army to officiate a bout: seven referees (who wear the zebra stripes and call penalties and points) and nine officials (who are responsible for recording and relaying a lot of information quickly and accurately). Here’s a breakdown of the sixteen
standard roles:

There is a Head Referee and Head Non Skating Official for each bout that make sure that everything is up to WFTDA standards, and that the bout is staffed by qualified referees and officials. The bout head referee leads pre-bout meetings with the teams, oversees the ref crew that day, and handles any referee disputes. Only the most experienced referees can hold this position.

There are also two jammer referees—one per team. These refs signal the lead jammer, keep track of points per lap, and blow their whistle to end the jam if the lead jammer calls it off. They wear an armband in the color of the team they’re tracking, and switch teams at halftime. They communicate to the Scorekeeping official that they have been paired up with for that bout by signaling points at the end of each pass through the pack. The Scorekeepers confirm the points by signaling back, and then report the points to the Scoreboard operator. The scoreboard operator makes sure the scoreboard reflects both the score and the time accurately, and communicates with the Scorekeepers and the Jam Timer to make sure everything is in agreement.

The inside pack referee watches the pack for penalties. Look for the hand signals used to
communicate the nature of penalties to the other officials, especially the Penalty Tracker and Inside Whiteboard Officials. There are usually three outside pack referees who call penalties that might go unnoticed from the infield, like an elbow to the ribs, or returning in bounds ahead of an opponent when they should have returned behind that opponent.

Referees report their penalty calls to the penalty tracking official. The PTO keeps track of what penalties are assessed to which player, and communicates with the Penalty Wrangler and Inside Whiteboard Officials to make sure that players serve their penalties, and that players who were sent back to the track because the box was full head to the box once space is opened. The Penalty Wrangler and Penalty Box Manager use small white boards to communicate which players haven’t been to the box to serve their penalty yet, and let the referees know to communicate to the player when it is time to return to the box to serve the penalty.

The penalty timing officials and their trusty stopwatches rule the box. They keep track of how long each skater has to sit, let her know when it’s time to stand ten seconds before their penalty time is up, and when their time is done so they can return to the track. Usually there is one penalty box timer for each team, and a Penalty Box Manager who manages penalties to the jammers and helps keep things running smoothly in the box.

Nothing happens without the jam timing official. The Jam Timer will let the skaters know the jam is about to start by holding their hand in the air and calling out “Five Seconds”. The jam starts when the whistle blows, and the jam timer drops their hand. If a jam lasts a full two minutes, the jam timer’s four-whistle signal ends the action. He or she also makes sure only 30 seconds elapses between jams, and lets the players know when time out’s and play stoppages begin and end with a combination of whistles and hand signals.

The inside whiteboard official job looks simple: write down the names of skaters who have been assessed a penalty, and mark on the board when the penalty has been served. If the box is full at the end of the jam and a player has not served her penalty, she must skate in the next jam so she can serve her penalty as soon as a space is open, or she will be assessed an additional “Delay of Game” penalty. It’s not only important for the officials to have this information, because bench managers also rely on this information when deciding which five skaters to send out for a jam.

BDD is very active in the governing body WFTDA, and will occasionally try out ideas to improve the game, otherwise known as “beta testing”. One example of this is moving the inside whiteboard to the outside of the track where both teams can see it, so it doesn’t obstruct the view of the crowd.

When considering skaters who impress both on and off the track, Artoo Detoonate, #B33P, comes instantly to mind. Much like the robot she’s named for, Artoo maintains an impressive bank of knowledge and is constantly working to understand advanced derby strategies and techniques for the benefit of herself and her teammates. She exudes a calm competence during gameplay that belies the speed of her feet and the processing going on in the interstellar, human computer that is her brain. Off skates, Artoo guides her leaguemates and opponents with her incredible positivity and supportive feedback. Read on to learn more about the skater who has helped bring balance to the force that is the Boston Derby Dames.

If you had to sum up roller derby in 3 words, what would they be?

Insanity. Delight. Flying.

How did you find roller derby? What inspired you to want to play derby?

It sounds cheesy to say “it found me,” but it’s sort of true. (Though really, it was more like it pushed and pulled and dragged me along until I actually started paying attention.)

I was an ice skater for several years as a kid, but was never very serious about the whole thing. Years later, in 2009 I got hooked on watching the game and the idea of putting on skates again from a friend at Pioneer Valley, but didn’t actually touch a pair until 2010. And even then, it was just goofing off at rinks and doing three-turns and mohawks—I swore up and down I had no interest in playing derby, just having fun on skates and, as a bonus, avoiding going to the gym.

It wasn’t until I moved to San Francisco that I even affiliated myself with a derby league—the Bay Area Derby Girls had a recreational skating club called Reckless Rollers, and after months of making excuses, I joined up in May 2011. I blame the coaches there (Mindianapolis 500 in particular) for everything that’s happened since: They took a goof who liked doing silly things on skates and sort of liked watching roller derby and made her obsessed with the game. I protested that I didn’t actually want to play right up until that January, when Mindi basically goaded me publicly into trying out for the league proper. And of course once I did, I completely fell in love. Surprise!

Seriously, though: The people I met along the way, they were my biggest influences and inspirations whether or not I consciously realized it. My buddy Jeff, who showed me a way to have fun on skates that didn’t involve salchows and sit spins; Mindi, for kicking my ass; and Mars, one of my first derby friends, who gave me someone to race against during our endurance skates. Derby is such a wonderful little community.

And really: For a girl who spent most of her formative ice skating years wishing she could just make a short program out of crowd-dodging and speeding around the rink, roller derby seemed pretty much tailor-made.

Where did your derby name come from?

I knew I wanted something Star Wars or robot-related—partially because I’m a huge Star Wars geek, and partially because I wanted to decorate my helmet like a robot’s. (Excellent motivations, right?)

I skated as “Shred Leader” with the robot from Star Tours as my number (RIP, RX24!) for a brief month or two, but knew it wasn’t going to be my real name. I toyed with “Artoo Dee-struction” for awhile, but it was my mother who solidified it in its current form. “I’ve got it. Artoo Detoonate—It’s cute and crazy, just like you!” Uhm, thanks, mum. But she wasn’t wrong!

What teams do you play for?

I play for the Cosmonaughties, and last year played for the B-string of Boston’s travel team, the Boston B Party. Tryouts for the 2014 travel team are in a couple of weeks, though, and I have my eye on them.

You transferred to BDD from BAD’s training and rec team. Do you feel that joining BDD has helped you on your path to awesomeness? Did your experience there help fuel your passion for coaching BDD’s fledgeling TRT?

Absolutely. BAD gave me the initial inspiration and confidence to join derby, but it’s Boston that’s made me the skater I am today and laid the groundwork for my years ahead.

I joined BDD when our Training and Recreation program was barely a few months old, and really got to witness it grow and change as I was evolving, too, which was crazy exciting. Once I got teamed, I kept up with TRT because it just seemed like such a great learning space, and I’ve always loved helping other folks find their path—coaching and teaching seemed like a natural extension. I found the player I wanted to be by going through both BAD and BDD’s recreation programs, and it was really important to me to give back and be a part of that process for other skaters.

I also can’t stress enough how amazing both the Cosmonaughties (my home team) and Boston’s travel team have been to my growth as a skater. The Cosmos drafted me midseason in 2012—despite the fact that I’d never played a regulation bout—and immediately put me out and trusted me like I’d been on the team for years. I owe so much to each one of them for believing in me and constantly challenging me to be a better teammate, skater, derby player.

My Cosmo teammates even pushed me to try out for the travel team in 2013, and I’m so glad I did. Just two months of travel team play and practice made me into a completely different skater, and it introduced me to my latest derby obsessions: footage study and gameplay.

How do you train on your own outside of derby?

When I first started, I had this nice little notion in my head that derby *was* training, and I didn’t need to do anything else. Ha ha ha. Needless to say, I learned pretty quickly otherwise. It’s not even so much about building general endurance or strength, for me—it’s about injury prevention and being able to achieve what you want on the track. If you don’t have good core strength, you’re going to be falling all the time, your knees will hurt, and it increases your chances of crashing in a bad way.

I try to train at least two days a week outside of team and league practices, if not more. One of those days is all about strength and resistance training—kettlebells, exercise bands, planks, bridges—while the other focuses on short-burst interval training. I also need at least a few hours a week of goof-off time on skates. When I’m on the track, I want to be able to concentrate on the game, not my skates—even if I’m backwards, on one foot, balancing precariously over a boundary. So I tend to wear my skates a lot—even in my apartment—and do ridiculous things on them.

What do you think Boston needs to do to be successful going into the next season?

I think we made huge strides last season in our gameplay and our skating skills. This year it’s all about continuing that pattern, studying the top teams, staying calm, and working on our speed modulation and timing.

I know it’s a lot, but what do you do for BDD off the track/behind the scenes?

I run our Communications Committee and make sure everything’s being updated on social media and our website, along with overseeing poster design and the street team. Last year’s big project was our new website; this year is all about getting together a cohesive brand. I’ve been chanting “BDD brand book” for the last few months—we’ll see if 2014 is the year we actually get it together.

I also co-coach our C Team with the lovely Beantown Brawler, helping our newest scrimmage-eligible girls advance their gameplay and their skills and giving our retired skaters a fun space to skate. And this year, I’m co-captaining the Cosmonaughties with the incomparable Stella Kronos (née Tiny Dancer).

How do you feel in the middle of a jam?

Like Luke Skywalker in the Death Star trench. Eerily calm but focused. Jams run at quarter-speed for me—everything’s in ultra-slow motion. Unfortunately, that sometimes includes my feet, which I’d much prefer to run a little bit faster than everything else.

You struggled some with injuries last season. Do you have any advice for staying positive, even while off skates?

It’s really, really, really, really hard. Excruciatingly hard. Especially the first week you get back on skates and the rush of being back combines with the sinking realization that you’ve just lost months of skill development and muscle training. Or, as what happened to me, you return and then put yourself right back on the disabled list.

So two tips: My first is to find some way to keep your derby brain active and excited about the sport despite not being able to play it. For me, that was coaching and endless footage-watching. I was able to learn a lot by watching and working with others, even if I couldn’t work on what I wanted to myself. The second is to stay off your skates until you’re fully healed. I know it sucks, but nothing’s worse than coming back only to sit right back down again. Your derby career can last you years if you take care of your body—don’t shave time off that just because you’re impatient and don’t want to wait a few more weeks.

What was your favorite moment from last year?

Coming back from a shoulder injury and months off skates to play in the B Party’s last game of the season up in Vermont against the Black Ice Brawlers and a few Mean Mountain Boys. During the warmup, I felt absolutely horrible about myself and my skills, sucking wind, etc. But I took a second on the bench during the first jam, focused on what mattered (skating with my friends and having fun), and had one of my best games ever. I realized that despite the injury, I’d still grown as a skater, and taking the time off had actually let my body heal and get to where it needed to be to play at this level.

If you could go back in time and talk to your newbie self, what advice would you give her?
Move your feet, move your feet, move your darn feet! And stretch more after practice—your muscles will thank you.

Who are your derby heroes?

So many. Probably too many to list. BAD’s Trixie Pixie and Chantilly Mace were huge jamming inspirations—they’re both small, but so mighty—and I consider Brawllen Angel my spirit blocker (she’s everywhere, wicked smart, and faster than you ever realize). I also love watching the Texies play. Smarty Pants and Sarah Hipel are so amazing in their quick thinking on the track, while Polly Gone and Fifi teach a master class in blocking every time they’re out there.

And I could gush endlessly about Boston. Space’s mohawk blocking and jamming; Mangle’s eerie ability to be EVERYWHERE; Shayna’s brilliant derby brain and terrifying derby butt; Hard Core’s terminator stare.

What is your favorite thing about derby?

It’s the closest I’ll ever get to flying in a space battle.

But really, the people. Hands down. While I’ll always adore skating, it’s the people that make me love this sport so much, and challenge me to rock every day harder than the one before.

What do you do when you’re not playing roller derby?

I’m a technology writer by trade, so I spend a fair amount of time playing with the newest Apple gadgets and gizmos. I also do a bunch of miscellaneous things in my (limited) spare time: doodle, knit, swing dance, perform and direct radio plays, cook, and play the occasional game of D&D.

What is flexibility?  A lot of times we talk about it simply as “stretching.”  When you’re not flexible, you might call yourself, “tight.”  Over in fitness-professional-land, we talk about flexibility in terms of “joint range of motion” and “muscle elasticity.”  The terms sound about like what they mean– joint range of motion has to do with how well your joints move in the directions they’re supposed to, and muscle elasticity means how much a muscle can stretch through it’s full range of motion.  The two can be related (ie, an inelastic muscle can prevent a joint from moving properly), but they can occur independently as well (for instance, a joint may also be impeded because one of the muscles around it doesn’t work hard enough to move the joint properly.)

You’re going to run into a couple different flexibility issues as you skate more.  First, you’ll notice that you may not have the joint range of motion to perform certain moves, like mohawks (skating sideways, with your feet turned out) or even the basic skater stance, because certain muscles are always shortened/inelastic (read: tight), thereby pulling your body out of proper alignment and messing with your skating mojo. In this situation, you’ll want to work on stretching the problem muscles for thirty seconds at least three times a week (and after practice) to help them fully lengthen.

Second, you’ll notice that certain muscles get tighter because of skating, and need to be stretched regularly to correct the imbalance. For instance, your right butt and hip muscles will get tight from pushing to the side with the right foot, and will need to be stretched to keep your pelvis from getting misaligned and, therefore, keep lower back and knees happy.

Below I’ve illustrated a few stretches that are necessary for every skaters’ cross-training repertoire.  I’ve highlighted the areas where you should feel the stretch in red.

The Stretches Every Derby Girl Should Do:

Hip flexor stretch - Get into a half-kneeling position.  Squeeze the butt of the back leg to push that hip forward– you should feel it along the front of the hip.  Deepen the stretch by reaching up with the arm on that same side.

Quadriceps stretch - Pull one heel up behind you. Keep your knee from floating away to the side of your body and squeeze your butt to keep your hips extended.  You should feel this in the front of your thigh.

Piriformis stretch – Lie on the ground.  Cross one ankle over the opposite knee.  Pull the bottom leg to your chest.  You should feel this in the butt of the top leg.

Hamstring stretch - You probably know a bunch of ways to stretch the back of your leg.  The best way to really isolate it is to actually bring your knee of the leg you’re trying to stretch towards your chest with the leg bent; then attempt to straighten the leg out. Unfolding the leg this way (rather than pulling the leg up from the ground while it’s straight) will help keep you from using your lower back to cheat the stretch– even if you don’t get the leg entirely straight, it’ll get a deeper stretch for the muscle.  If you can’t reach your leg with your hands, then you can use a strap or rope to help pull on your leg.

Calf stretches – Stand in a stagger stance near a wall.  Shift your weight into the front leg, while pressing the heel of your back leg down. 

Chest stretch – Go up to a corner and place your arm on the wall, so both your elbow and shoulder are bent at a 90 degree angle.  Walk forward and turn away from the extended arm. You should feel the stretch in the chest, particularly near the shoulder.

Trapezius stretch – With your face forward, gently pull your head to the side.  Imagine you’re holding a heavy suitcase with the opposite arm.  You’ll feel this in the side of your neck.

Levator Scapula stretch - Similar to the trap stretch, just turn your head so you face the direction you’re pulling.  You’ll feel the stretch more along the back of your neck. Heaven.

You may have heard at this point that holding stretches before a workout is useless or even harmful. Let me clarify: That’s sort of true.  Holding a muscle in a stretched position, called “static stretching,” causes the muscle to relax and reduces the amount of work it can do for about an hour after the stretch.  Thus, it’s probably not the best idea to stretch your quadriceps along the front of your thigh and then try to go do a bunch of squats, which use the quadriceps to drive the movement.

That said, sometimes a muscle is way too short and working too hard, which throws off the exercise—in a squat, that might be the hip flexors or the calf muscles.  Stretching the muscles that are overactive and starting off too short can actually help maintain better alignment for the movement because you want those muscles to be less powerful than they usually are.

Conversely, sometimes muscles are tight but shouldn’t be stretched—for instance, the muscles of the lower back will often activate to stabilize the hips and spine if the glutes and interior abdominal muscles aren’t working well enough.  In this case, you’ll find that no matter how much you stretch the muscle in question, it always stays tight and you can’t move the full range of motion that you should be able to.  This situation usually indicates that some other muscles need to be stronger; until they start working as hard as they need to, the other muscles will continue to overwork and stay tight.  Think that’s happening for you? Go back to my strength-training article and do the exercises I listed.

You Want Me to Do What With That Tennis Ball?

A lesser known form of flexibility training is self-myofascial release (SMR). When stretching, you release muscle tension by pulling on it until the muscle relaxes and lengthens.  With SMR, you apply pressure to the muscle until knots in the fascia (the saran-wrap-y tissue surrounding the muscle) release. Most often this type of work is done with giant foam rolls, but it can also be done with tennis balls, golf balls, god-awful knobbly things, etc.  Denser or deeper muscles often need smaller, harder objects (That’s what she said!), while more superficial muscles will need a softer implement.  In other words, you may find to really work on your butt, you may need to sit on a tennis ball, but for your calves, one of the foam rollers at your gym (or floating around the fort) will be fine. You apply pressure to the painful knots in your muscles for thirty to ninety seconds, when the tension usually releases. SMR is great for areas that are difficult to stretch or lengthen, like the IT Band along the side of the leg. SMR can be performed daily, and is actually great to do before you workout because it helps calm down overactive muscles.

Although I think SMR is fantastic for most people, I really recommend it if you’re someone who’s experiencing tight muscles when skating, but actually have full range of motion when at rest.  What’s that mean?  You may find that you can’t rotate your hip much when you’re skating, or you lean over a lot more than you should, but the second your skates are off and you go to stretch, you have to seriously contort yourself, do splits, or perform other yogic feats to feel any sort of stretch in the muscle.  In that case, your muscle may be long enough, but overactive— SMR will be more helpful in getting the muscle to calm the [expletive deleted] down.

Once you find a foam roller (available at most sporting goods’ stores, as well as the weird little massaging chair store below the gym where I work and, of course, the interwebs), here are some ways to make it useful.

Calf rolling – Sit on the ground.  Put your calves on the foam roller.  You can add pressure by crossing one leg over the other or lifting the rest of your body off the ground (or, if you enjoy pain, both).

IT Band - The IT band is a web of fascia that runs from your hip to your knee along the side of your leg.  You lie sideways on the foam roller, the bottom leg straight. Then loop the top leg over it, so the foot is on the ground.  Lift the bottom foot of the ground.  If you want to add pressure, stack your legs.  You’ll usually feel knots around the hip area, mid-thigh, and near the knee.

Piriformis - The piriformis is a finicky little muscle deep inside your butt.  The sciatic nerve runs through it, so when the piriformis is overactive, you can feel pain all down your leg and into your back.  To roll it, you sit on the foam roller, one ankle crossed over the other knee. Put the opposite hand on the top knee. Tip towards the hip of the top leg.

Quadriceps – Lie face down.  Roll on the front of your thighs, with your feet off the ground.  You can cross one leg over the other to apply more pressure.  Usually you’ll feel knots in the middle of the thigh and by the knee.

Hip Flexor- Lie in a similar position as with the quads, but lift one knee up to the side.  The other leg will remain straight.  Roll along the top of the thigh, right below the hip bone (the ASIS joint, for you anatomy nerds).  Swipe the straight leg around like a windshield wiper to find other sore spots.

Adductors (inner thigh) - Still lying face-down, straddle the foam roller, with the roller at a slight angle so it’s perpendicular(ish) to the leg you’re rolling.  Yes, rolling your inner thigh looks inappropriate. How else do you expect to make friends at the gym? You’re welcome.

Remember, even if stretching and foam rolling seems like a waste of time, it’s not– it’s just as important as strength training in a derby player’s regimen.  Flexibility training helps prevent injury (always good) and helps you use your muscles  more effectively, so you become a better derby player.  And we all want to be better derby players, right?  (Unless you’re just reading this blog to look at my pretty stick figures.  I totally understand.)

Next time on Kat’s Really Long Monologues About Cross-Training: Get Your Ass Off the Elliptical and Do Some Useful Cardio.

The first game was a battle for third place between the Wicked Pissahs and the Nutcrackers. It started off with a jammer chase: Pissah Bad Person chased lead jammer Crown Joules (Nutcracker Co-Captain) and forced her to call it off with only one point. This jam set the tone for most of the first half, with both teams earning roughly equal lead jammer percentage, and without developing a strong point differential. In the second jam, Maya Mangleyou was able to bring the Nuts score up to nine points, but The GunShow also put up four for the Pissahs. The third jam saw the Pissah’s jammer Truant sneak in three points to Dr Pepper Spray’s two for the Nuts, despite Pepper’s status as lead jammer.

The Pissahs began to take the lead from the Nutcrackers in the fifth jam, when The Gun Show brought them to 14 against the Nuts’ 11. Although the lead quickly reversed again just two jams later when Mangle put up 10 points for the Nuts during a power jam, she picked up a penalty just as the Nuts were gaining momentum and was sent to the box. This gave Truant a chance to rack up five more points for the Pissahs, ending the jam 25 to 23 Nuts. The very next jam saw The Gun Show return the lead to the Pissahs with the power jam she inherited from Truant, but Mangle stifled this momentum as soon as she was released from the box with tough jammer-on-jammer blocking.

In the 10th jam, the Nutcrackers earned lead jammer status, but Mangle was cleared out of bounds by Pissah Co-Captain Neurotic Tendency after only picking up two points during her scoring pass. In the meantime, Truant was able to sneak through and grab four points for the Pissahs. The Nuts earned lead jammer status again about halfway through the first period, which gave Dottie Danger the opportunity to put up five points while the Pissah jammer struggled with an aggressive wall of Nutrackers. Over the next two jams, Crown Joules and Dr Pepper Spray were able to build the Nuts’ lead, despite some really strong defense from Pissah blockers Neurotic, Maully O’ffender, and Stevie Nixher.

The Nutcrackers continued to build their momentum, but quickly found their jammer in the box. This gave Bad Person a power jam in the Wicked Pissahs’ favor, and she picked up 25 hard-earned points. The Pissahs took the lead that they would hang onto for the rest of the half.

The next few jams saw low scoring passes and strong teamwork from both teams. Pissah blockers Neurotic, Maully, Ubee Trounced (Co-Captain), Bad Person, Miss Mary Smack, and Rock of Shove all played impressive defense, shutting down several Nuts’ jammers in a row. But the Nuts fought back hard, and Mystic R.I.P.her, Badonkey Kong, Mandoline Slicer, and Farmer Geddon kept the Pissah jammers to a scoring minimum.

The Pissahs did pull away near the end of the half with a 33-point power jam for Stevie Nixher. But the Nuts built some momentum with a last-minute power jam for Mangle. Unfortunately for the Nuts fans, she was sent to the box and the power jam was handed over to the Pissahs’ Rough Ann Tumble. Knuckle Sammy was able to put up nine more points for the Pissahs in the final jam, ending the half 119 to 69.

The Nuts began closing the gap in the start the second half when Planitz Collide took the lead despite a strong Pissah wall. Offensive help from Badonkey Kong allowed Planitz to put up 15 points while the Nuts’ wall held back the Pissah jammer. Two jams later, the Nuts built even more momentum with a 25 point power jam for Mandoline Slicer that brought the score to just 125-113 in the Pissah’s favor. Mangle was able to sneak in some points for the Nuts without having lead jammer status on two separate occasions.

With the game now incredibly close at 125 to 122, the Pissahs earned lead jammer status seven jams in a row with Knuckle Sammy, The Gun Show, Bad Person, Blood Bath Bettie, and Rock of Shove all helping to solidify the lead. A mid-half power jam for The Gun Show (and after a star pass, Estrogeena Davis) racked up 30 points for the Pissahs. Blood Bath Bettie was then able to add 13 more points when she inherited the power jam. Despite strong Nutty defense and notable hard hits from Farmer Geddon, Planitz Collide, Dottie Danger, Badonkey Kong, and Nutcracker Co-Captain and MVP Belle Air Bomber, the Pissahs ended their run of seven leads with the score standing 181 to 126.

But the game wasn’t over yet, and the very next jam was the start of a Nutcracker comeback as Slicer put up 30 points on a power jam. Mangle quickly followed this with 14 more points for the Nuts. Another power jam for Slicer, and a star pass to Belle Air Bomber, brought the score to 181-178 Pissahs. Rock of Shove and Dr Pepper Spray each put up points to bring the score to 185-182 Pissahs. Mangle took the lead in the next jam, and with a single scoring pass took the lead for the Nuts while being chased down by Estrogeena Davis. When Mangle took the lead again in the next jam, and Pissah MVP Bad Person appeared trapped behind a wall of Dottie Danger, Em Nasty, and Planitz Collide, it looked likely to be a Nut victory with only minutes remaining on the clock. But Mangle was sent to the box, which gave Bad Person a chance to break free, with some offensive help from Ubee Trounced. Bad Person earned 25-points in the power jam, ending the game with a final score of 210-191 and a third-place victory for the Wicked Pissahs.

Coming into the championship bout, Shriners Auditorium was full of anticipation and excitement over a game that was certain to be history in the making. The team that took home the Golden Fez would be taking it for the first time. The Cosmonaughties, who had been thwarted in the pursuit of the Fez for several previous BDD seasons, entered the championships with an undefeated 2013 season. But BDD’s newest home team, the Arkham Horrors, was the new terror in town. Despite less time skating together than the other teams, they had been strengthening throughout the season and were coming from their playoff defeat of the Nutcrackers with a lot of momentum. The teams were well-matched and the championship bout was intense, close, and low-scoring. The first five jams saw the Horrors dominate the score board as they took lead jammer status all five times. Flyin’ King, MC Slamher, and Wanda Herchu (Co-Captain) racking up 25 points, and held the Cosmos to one single point put up in the first jam by Artoo Detoonate.

The Horrors opened the game with strong blocking; Fuzzta Rhymes, America Ferocious, Dolly Spartan, Hayley Contagious (Co-Captain), Crazy Dukes, and Rainbow Crash shut down several Cosmo jammers in a row. But a power jam in the Cosmonaughties’ favor was able to turn the tide in the sixth jam. Elle L. Cool Jam scored 15 points before calling it off and giving HardCore (still on a power jam) a chance to put up 15 more points, thus bringing the score to 31-25 Cosmos. The lead was immediately taken back by the Horrors, however, when Flyin’ King was handed a power jam. A Cosmo wall of Vixen TaHitCha, Jackie K.O., Badass Mama, and Slam Chowdah slowed her efforts, but the score was now 43-31 Horrors.

The three jams that followed went scoreless. Although the Horrors took the lead in all three, their jammers were shut down by Space Invader (Co-Captain), Shayna Nestor, and Coopa Troopa. This allowed the Cosmos to have a chance at a comeback, and in the next jam, they started closing in on the score gap. With points put up by Elle, HardCore, Artoo, and Jackie K.O., the score stood at 50-43 in favor of the Cosmos in the sixteenth jam. But King took lead in the next jam and ended the Cosmo streak. She earned four points for the Horrors, and was followed by Lil Buckaroo and Wanda Herchu each putting up four points, as well. The Horrors now had the lead at 56-50, with strong blocking from Boston Creamher, Dolly Spartan, Rainbow Crash, and Hayley Contagious contributing to the shutting down of the Cosmo jammers.

The point gap was closed further in the next jam when HardCore earned four points for Science while the Horrors’ jammer was stuck behind Space Invader and Frenchie von Knuckles. Then, intense jammer-on-jammer action left the score at 56-54 Horrors.

A power jam for Elle brought the Cosmos back into the lead, although the scoring run was kept to just two-and-a-half passes by tough Horror defense from Dolly, Fuzz, and Dukes. The Cosmo lead grew with skilled jamming from HardCore and Artoo, but this momentum was shut down in the second-to-last jam of the half when Flyin’ King easily cut through the pack and put up 30 points. Hayley, Fuzz, Dukes, and Horror MVP America Ferocious neutralized the Cosmo jammer while Cosmo blockers streamed into the box. One more quick, 0-0 jammer chase and the half ended 86-76 Horrors.

The Cosmos wasted no time in the second half, closing the score to 86-85 Horrors in the first jam. With a 3-2 pack advantage, Space, Coops, and Nestor were able to hold King at bay while Elle picked up nine points. HardCore racked up 12 more points in the next jam while Tears for Phearsome and Tiny Dancer (Co-Captain) teamed up with Nestor and Vixen to hold MC Slamher to only two points. The Cosmos had now taken the lead 97-88. But Wanda Herchu quickly closed the gap to 97-92, and after Artoo and King traded short power jams, the score stood at 101-102 Cosmos. The score stayed close with both Slamher and Elle putting up points in the next jam, bringing the score to 108-109 Cosmos. A power jam for Wanda that was also handed to King gave the Horrors the lead-change they were looking for. But the game remained a close 123-112 since King had been slowed by Space, Vixen, and Celia Casket. The Cosmos climbed back into the lead with a run of lead jammers from Artoo, HardCore, and Elle, and formidable blocking from Space, Phearsome, and Tiny.

The Horrors were not, however, without blocking resources of their own with Hayley, Catherine the Irate, Beantown Brawler, and America Ferocious making the Cosmos’ climb into the lead particularly arduous. The score stood 129-127 Cosmos halfway through the second half. Both Wanda Herchu and Artoo Detoonate were sent to the box in the next jam, and when they returned to the track they had to fight for two minutes of point scoring. Wanda passed the star to pivot Hayley, and when the jam ended, the score was tied at 136. The Cosmos quickly pulled back into the lead when Elle racked up 11 points while Vixen, Coops, and Frenchie made life difficult for the Horrors jammers. The Cosmos managed to hang onto their lead for the next seven jams, although it remained narrow due to hard blocks from the Horrors and impressive jamming from Wanda and Slamher. Artoo, Elle, and HardCore contributed the majority of the points to the Cosmo lead, with MVP HardCore putting up 11 points at once against particularly hard Horror opposition from America, Dukes, and King.

Coming into the last minutes of the bout, the Cosmos led 161-152. When the Cosmo jammer was sent to the box with only two jams worth of time on the clock, we saw the second last-minute power jam lead change of the night. King earned ten points while being heavily blocked and slowed down by Vixen, Space, Slam Chowdah, and Coops, thus bringing the Horrors into the lead by a single point. The final jam saw MC Slamher take the track and the Cosmo jammer Frenchie standing in the box. Frenchie returned to the track and passed the star to pivot Vixen, who struggled to break out of the pack. Slamher earned lead jammer status, which allowed her to call the jam before Vixen could pick up any points, leaving the final score at 162 to 161, and BDD’s newest team, the Arkham Horrors, in possession of the 2013 Golden Fez Cup.

Written by Sarah Courtney (Wild Boardom)

Photos © Joe Medolo 2013

Although the evening’s first bout ended with the Cosmos hanging onto their undefeated position by a healthy point margin, the Pissahs made the Cosmos fight to maintain their top spot, and every jam was exciting for the raucous and loyal Cosmo and Pissah fans. The game opened with a huge jam for the Pissahs, with Bad Person racking up 33 points while Jackie K.O. was held back by the Pissah pack before being sent to the penalty box. A run of penalties ended the jam with only two Pissahs and one Cosmo blocker on the track and Bad Person on the way to the box herself. Elle L. Cool Jam won back 23 points for the Cosmos on her power jam, but for the next several jams the teams traded lead jammers and kept the score low and the Pissahs in the lead. With blockers in the box on both sides, the Cosmo and Pissah packs had to work extra hard. Pissahs Maully O’ffender and Knuckle Sammy, as well as Cosmos Vixen TaHitCha and Space Invader, showed what two well-coordinated blockers can do to slow down a jammer.

In the fifth jam, Cosmo HardCore and Pissah Stevie Nixher both picked up penalties and returned to the track to fight for the full two minutes. HardCore earned 15 for the Cosmos, and Nixher (down a toe stop by mid-jam) gained eight for the Pissahs. The Cosmos pulled ahead after that, with Elle L. Cool Jam, Artoo Detoonate, HardCore, and Jackie K.O. all contributing to the lead. Artoo Detoonate was able to capitalize on a power jam, putting up 27 points for science and solidifying the Cosmo lead. A subsequent run of eight lead jammers in a row for the Pissahs– with The Gun Show, Bad Person, and Knuckle Sammy each taking several leads and putting up points– was unable to close the gap due to tough Cosmo defense and fast chases by Cosmo jammers. The Cosmos were able to end the Pissah streak by taking lead jammer in the last three jams and ending the half in the lead.

In the second half, the Cosmos took the lead jammer in twenty out of twenty-five jams. But Pissah packs were strong and the Cosmos were forced to build their lead slowly. Cosmo jammers struggled against the strong Pissah defense and would find themselves being chased by speedy Pissah jammers. A particularly strong Pissah blocking performance was represented by Neurotic Tendency, Ubee Trounced, Estrogeena Davis, and the Pissah MVP Annie Malistick. However, penalties ate away at the Pissah walls, and with frequently fewer than four Pissah blockers on the track, the Cosmo packs were able to play defense and offense, getting their jammers out faster than their out-numbered competition. Cosmo blockers Vixen, K.O., and Cosmo MVP Tears for Phearsome, made the job of the Cosmo jammers easier. Even a late-game twenty eight point power jam by Bad Person (who earned three out of the Pissah’s four second half lead jammers) couldn’t stop the Cosmo momentum, and the bout ended 289 to 134 in favor of the Space Brain.

The second bout pitted the Arkham Horrors against the Nutcrackers. The Nuts had experience on their side, but the Horrors had been picking up momentum through their first season together, and the teams that came to the track were closely matched. The first half saw the Nuts take lead jammer ten times to the Horrors’ nine. The Horrors put up more points due to early power jams by MC SlamHer, Flyin’ King, and Wanda Herchu. When both jammers were on the track, the jams were short, hard-fought, and low-scoring, with several exciting jammer chases forcing 0-0 call-offs. The ninth jam saw Flyin’ King and Belle Air Bomber facing two very tight walls. They emerged from their initial passes at nearly identical times, but with Belle earning lead jammer, and had to race each other back to the pack to grab four points each before Belle called it off.

Tough blocking on both sides made for a very difficult half for the jammers, with Nutcrackers Maya Mangleyou and Planitz Collide, and Horrors Crazy Dukes and America Ferocious (Arkham’s MVP for the night) making opposing jammers fight for every point. The tenth jam saw the Nuts close the point gap considerably as Nutcracker MVP Haddie Collider put up 33 points, and MC SlamHer struggled against a wall of Nuts while missing a toe stop. This brought the Nuts’ score from 24 to 57 against the Horrors’ 65. And then, towards the end of the first half, the Nutcrackers were able to turn the score around. With Crazy Dukes starting in the box, Maya Mangleyou was able to capitalize on a power jam in favor of the Nuts. Mandoline Slicer, Mystic RIPher and Dottie Danger were able to neutralize Dukes once she returned to the track, which allowed the Nuts to score a 34-0 jam, and take the lead 113-112. Another 19-point power jam by Dr. Pepper Spray against a formidably Horror-ific wall put the Nuts ahead 132-114 at the half.

The Horrors started the second half strong with tough walls and hard hits. When America Ferocious and Captain Hook were able to draw a track cut on the Nuts’ jammer in the third jam, Arkham’s Little Buckaroo put the Horrors back in the lead with a 25-point power jam. The score remained tight, and after Flyin’ King and Dottie Danger finished trading power jams, the score was tied 176-176. The Horrors were able to pull ahead again slowly, taking the lead in eight of the last 12 jams. A number of Nutcracker blocker penalties meant the Nuts were often outnumbered, with only pairs of solitary dancers facing off against walls of four working for the Ancient One.

Still, Nutcracker defense did not give in easily. Crown Joules and Mystic RIPher were able to slow down Flyin’ King on her final power jam, with well-coordinated partner blocking, and Maya Mangleyou did some impressive blocking and jamming as she had throughout the game. The Horrors were admirably cohesive and, despite having only played together since this spring, worked together with unity. They were able to use their pack advantages to hold back the Nuts’ strong jammers while getting their own jammers the lead, which resulted in a final score of 236-211 in favor of the Horrors, and a spot in the Home Team Championship bout against the undefeated Cosmonaughties.

Written by Sarah Courtney (Wild Boardom)

Photos © Joe Medolo 2013

DON’T MISS THE GOLDEN FEZ CHAMPIONSHIP DOUBLE HEADER ON SATURDAY, DECEMBER 14TH!

Cross training is any exercise you do that’s not skating.  It has two main purposes: to get you stronger at the things you need help with, and to counter any imbalances that might come along because of your all-derby-all-the-time regimen.

The best cross training will pinpoint areas where you lack as a skater and develop them further—whether that means strength training to make yourself a more solid blocker, doing cardiovascular work to give you the endurance to get through an entire practice or scrimmage, or even doing more recovery-focused work like foam rolling, yoga, or Pilates to help your body respond better to the tough workouts it faces.

Over the next few posts, I’m going to tell you about the different types of cross-training a derby gal should do: strength, cardiovascular, flexibility, balance, and agility.  And don’t worry—while having access to a gym is great, many of your goals can be accomplished at home or in public spaces.

For today, let’s start off with strength training.

I love strength training.  Love it.   If I could spoon an Olympic barbell in bed with me at night, I would.

Strength training comes in all sorts of forms—classes that involve rainbow-colored weights, heavy-lifting like Crossfit, uber-precise tiny movements like Pilates, plain old nautilus machines, suspension training that borders on S&M…  You get the idea.

For most people starting in derby (your goals will likely change as you progress, which I’ll cover in a minute), two main issues come up with muscle strength: endurance and joint stability. Endurance comes into play (ha! pun!) when you first start trying to hold derby stance, which is essentially like you’re sitting without a chair.  Now imagine doing that for two hours.

Mmm, thigh burn.

My inner geek wants to get into the biomechanics of what’s going on when your muscles get tired, but that’s really another blog post, another time.  The long and short of it is that you’re going to work on strengthening both your quadriceps (those big muscles on the front of your legs that burn like crazy when you’re skating) and the muscles that make your hips and ankles happy (which, incidentally, often get tired and just stop working, making your knees go in all kinds of weird directions and your back hurt, and a variety of other uncomfortable ailments.)   Coaches will tell you to work on your wall squats and bodyweight squats to get the quads stronger, which are a great place to start.

That said, many of us are “quad dominant,” which means our quadriceps are a fair amount stronger than the rest of our leg muscles; focusing only on exercises that strengthen the quads will cause the knees and hips to get thrown out of alignment and lead to knee and back pain.  I don’t know about you, but I have enough issues that make me feel like an old lady (ie, my 9pm bedtime) that additional aches and pains aren’t on my bucket list for becoming a grown-up.

Other useful areas to train:

The Butt

The butt is composed of a variety of muscles with multiple functions, including extending your hips (like when you’re standing straight up), abducting the legs (kicking your leg out to the side, like when you’re skating), and internally and externally rotating the legs (like when you plow stop or skate sideways in a Mohawk position).  Proper butt function is necessary for balance and pain-free knees, since a lot of our leg’s movements (or lack thereof) are actually controlled at the hip.

For exercises to help isolate those buns of steel, try out hip bridges and clams.

For bridges, just lie on your back with your knees bent at about a ninety-degree angle and feet flat on the ground.  Squeeze your tush to lift your hips off the ground, and hold.

For clams, lie on your side with your legs bent at a ninety degree angle, your feet on top of one another.  Your knees should be slightly in front of you, with your feet in line with your bum.  Open and close your knees while keeping your feet together, not letting your hips rock back and forth.

The Abs

First off: STOP WITH THE GODDARN CRUNCHES ALREADY.

Ahem.  Pardon.

The best way to understand your core is to understand that it includes ALL the muscles that control he spine.  We often think of that as just the abs, but the term “core” really refers to the various abdominus muscles, low back muscles, hip muscles, upper back, and chest muscles.  Crunches and sit-ups focus on the rectus abdominus, the thin sheet of muscle on the front of your body that flexes the spine forward.  (The six-pack muscles) In derby, we need to concern ourselves a lot less with bending forward through our midsection and more with keeping everything strong and stable with occasional rotational movement, which means focusing on the bigger inner muscles, known as the transverse abdominus and the inner and external obliques.

Good starter exercises for your core include planks and side planks.

Hold those positions as long as you can.  The stick figure looks uncomfortable because they’re not pleasant. Sorry.  You still need to do them.

I’m also a huge fan of V-Sits, which teach your body to stabilize the core while your body is bent at the hips… much like when you’re in derby. That exercise looks kind of like this:

Once again, hold as long as you can, keeping your shoulders back, so you don’t turn into Quasimodo.  The Hunchback of Notre Dame = not fantastic at derby.

You can hold a ball and twist from side to side, which is also helpful for when you start weaving around the track and whipping your teammates.

The Upper Back

Good posture takes a little more than remembering to stand up straight.  Freshmeat and veteran skaters alike often find themselves hunching over as they skate, leading to lower back pain.  Although it’s good to remember to keep your shoulders back, your muscles will fatigue eventually and no amount of mindfulness will keep your posture perfect.  Instead, you really have to work on strengthening your upper back muscles.

My two favorite no-equipment exercises are Scapular Pushups and Wall Slides, both of which are deceptively simple.

Scapular pushups are a bit of a misnomer—you don’t actually bend your arms to push yourself off the ground.  Instead, while holding a plank on your hands, you squeeze your shoulder blades together for a couple seconds.  Then, you try to spread them as far apart as you can (it’ll feel like you’re trying to push the ground away from you to do this).  Repeat 10 to 15 times.  You can make it easier by going on your knees.  You should feel the muscles between your shoulder blades after.

Observe:

Thanks, Friendly Neighborhood Shirtless Guy, for illustrating the technique better than my stick figures could.  (And by “Friendly Neighborhood,” I mean “Google Image Search.”)

Wall slides involve standing by a wall with your knees slightly bent, so your hips and shoulders are against the wall and there’s a slight curve in your lower back.  Bring your arms up beside you, like you’re being held up. Now, keeping your elbows, wrists and hands pressed firmly against the wall, straighten your arms overhead.  Try not to hunch your shoulders or arch your lower back.  Then, pull your arms down, so your elbows squeeze against your sides—once again, keeping your elbows, wrists and hands pressed against the wall.  Repeat 10 to 15 times.  If it’s insanely difficult and you feel it between your shoulder blades, you’re doing it right; if it feels really easy, you’re probably not keeping everything against the wall; if you just feel your neck, then you need to work on pulling your shoulders down as you extend your arms overhead.

(Note that the fact that these stick figures have enormous heads and next to no shoulders makes showing this exercise kind of hard.  You want your arms to be as parallel to one another as possible when you extend them overhead.)

As you get stronger and into more advanced derby, you’ll find that working on your overall strength and how much you can move will be helpful for pushing folks around and being pushed around on the track.

In general, try to strength train two to three days per week, for a minimum of thirty minutes.  Our bodies actually build muscle and strength AFTER our workouts, when the muscles repair themselves, so give yourself a day off in between strength workouts (or work different muscles) so that your body can have adequate time to get stronger.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll cover other sorts of cross-training that will help you become a better derby player, including cardiovascular fitness, flexibility training, agility drills, and balance work.    Hooray for fitness!

For the first couple months of the red line program, after practice I would get dinner with a couple of my teammates, then go home and fall asleep promptly at 6pm. Occasionally I would try to keep myself up to a more reasonable hour (like 8pm), but I’d usually spend the time staring at food blogs in a zombie-like stupor, unable to move from the giant armchair in the corner of my bedroom. I’d sleep for roughly twelve hours, and the next day would progress as normal.

Then, inevitably, sometime mid-afternoon the day after practice, I would become overwhelmingly ravenous. As in, that-pound-tub-of-Trader-Joe’s-peanut-butter-cups-is-totally-a-single-serving-right? level of hungry.

The pattern was unmistakable.

See, a gal can get through a typical workout—a run around the reservoir or an hour of strength-training—without worrying about much besides hydration. Since I’ve never had major fitness goals beyond general improvement of strength and endurance, I’ve never had to get too complicated with my eating habits. I’d make sure I ate within a couple hours before my workout for the day, and then the next time I ate would be whenever I got hungry again.

While that method was enough to get me through an hour of working out, or even the occasional two-hour workout, it clearly wasn’t passing muster for the three-hour skate-stravaganza that was red line practice. I chatted with my coworker, a registered dietician, and then rooted around the internet to figure out what the latest information on exercise nutrition suggested, which I will now present to you, dear readers, so there isn’t a dearth of peanut butter cups because a bunch of new skaters have swarmed Trader Joe’s. (And don’t try to tell me Reese’s are the same.)

Before practice…

The food you eat prior to practice will fuel your workout. A couple things to keep in mind when eating before practice:

• Give yourself enough time to digest whatever you eat. Seriously. You’ll feel puke-y if you have a bunch of food sitting in your stomach. (And it won’t do a whole lot for your energy levels just sitting there.) A good rule of thumb is to have either a small snack (like a granola bar, banana, bowl of oatmeal, whatever) an hour before hand, or a larger meal two to three hours before.
• Similarly, make sure it’s easy to digest. Now is not the time to be going for high fiber foods or healthy fats—go for easy to digest carbs (cereal, fruit, bread) with a bit of protein for staying power (eggs, yogurt, that kind of thing).
• Tasty examples: cereal with milk, toast with a smear of peanut butter, an apple and cheese, a turkey sandwich.

During practice…

• Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
• Endurance athletes will sometimes weigh themselves before and after a workout to see how much fluid they lost and then replace that amount. So if you lose two pounds, you need to drink 32 ounces of water. Since that can be a bit of a hassle, just make sure you drink enough water that your pee is light-colored or clear.
• Start taking in carbs and electrolytes after the first hour—ie, sports drinks.  They’re not really necessary before the first hour. For red liners, that means you’ll want something extra for your three-hour Saturday practices, but not for the one-hour weekday practices (agility and endurance).
• Don’t like plain water? Ice some non-caffeinated herbal tea, or cut up some fruit, cucumber, or mint to infuse your water with flavor.
• To get a good carb/electrolyte hit, you can go with classic Gatorade, but you can also try coconut water, or even water down some regular juice and add a pinch of salt. If you want to get uber precise, try to get about 14-15 grams of carbohydrates for every eight ounces of liquid, plus about 110 mg of sodium and 30 mg of potassium.
• Some folks prefer using gels, gus, shot blocks, energy jelly beans—they all work the same way, as an easy-to-digest means of getting sugar and minerals into your blood stream. A more natural alternative is to take some raisins and toss them with a bit of sea salt. (Sounds gross, but it’s actually wicked tasty when you’re in the middle of a tough workout.)

After practice…

• A fair amount of research suggests getting your post-workout snack in the first 30 minutes after practice. Other research, however, says that it may not be quite as necessary to time your post-workout food so closely if you’re not planning to exercise again in the next 12 hours.
• Carbohydrates will refill your depleted glycogen (read: fuel) stores in your muscles. Sports nutrition books generally recommend anywhere between 50 and 100 grams of carbs.
•  Protein will help your body repair your muscles after a long workout.  You don’t need a ton—just 10 to 20 grams. That’s the amount in a couple of hard boiled eggs or pieces of string cheese (or a mouth-watering slab of tofu? Sorry, I realized I’m only offering up non-vegan options here).
• Post-exercise munchies: Yogurt with granola, cheese and crackers, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chocolate milk, beans and rice.

In close, I’m going to leave you with a link to a handy infographic from The Greatist, which goes over all the ins and outs of sports nutrition basics with pretty pictures.  And remember: Eat well! Play well!

Photo by Joe Medolo

If you had to sum up roller derby in 3 words, what would they be?

Fun, Friends, Happiness

How did you find roller derby? What inspired you to want to play derby?

I stumbled across roller derby around the time when that “Whip It” movie came out. I hadn’t seen the movie, but I thought it was fun to come up with derby names all the time. One day I thought “I wonder if Boston has a roller derby team?” Then, I Googled it and found that indeed there WAS roller derby and that they had tryouts in 2 weeks. I went out and bought a cheap pair of skates and tried to practice a little before tryouts. I had no idea what I was getting into at all. No idea.

Where did your derby name come from? /How did you come up with your derby name?

It was really difficult coming up with a good derby name. All the ones that I thought of that I thought were awesome were already taken, as well as many variations of them. To be honest, my non-derby friend (yes, I still have a few of those!), Emily, came up with Dixie Kicks! We had been brainstorming for a few days trying to think of something that would tie in the South, since I’m from North Carolina. One of the ones that she came up with was Dixie Kicks and it ended up being the best on the list and wasn’t actually taken yet!

What teams did/do you play for?

I played for the Wicked Pissahs and the Massacre. I recently moved back to North Carolina and will be joining the Blue Ridge Rollergirls.

You made a big move this month.  What will you miss most about Boston and what are you most excited about with the Blue Ridge Rollergirls?

I will miss my teammates the most. BDD was my family and many of my friends were in walking distance of my apartment. I am forever grateful for all of the fun, wonderful, talented, amazing people that I met. I miss everyone already. SO MUCH. I’m looking forward to making more fun, awesome friends in Blue Ridge and continuing to gain more knowledge and experience from the new people that I meet. I’m also looking forward to having lots and lots of fun!

I have never seen you fall from a hit!  You are such a solid skater.  What do you do off skates on your own outside of derby?

Well, that is flattering, thank you! I try to go running on my own time and I do different workouts like Spartacus. I enjoy doing anything outdoors and would love to get back into yoga, if my schedule permits. I grew up riding horses and working at a barn, so I think I still have kind of a horseback riding stance when I’m on my skates. I guess that’s a good thing?

What do you think Boston needs to do to be successful going into Playoffs this fall?

We just need to go in hungry and ready to fight and believe in each other–like we usually do. It is important to have the right mindset going into a game, and I think we are ready to tackle down the competition and do our best.

This question is asked a lot in derby interviews but it’s a fun one: Do you have any pre-bout rituals?

I actually don’t have a lot of rituals anymore. I try to stay level headed and make sure that I don’t get nervous or worked up about a big game. I love to cook, so I can easily distract myself by making a giant breakfast/lunch and then watching something mindless on Netflix. I usually eat a whole lot of kale and make sure I have time to sit and relax for a while. Then my boyfriend, Centaur Of Attention, and I will play some music and pack up everything and head to the bout. When we’re on the road, I try to have some quiet time in the hotel and make sure that I have plenty of food for the day and that I know exactly what our schedule is so I won’t have to worry about anything. I like being prepared.

Everyone on the league talks about how positive and enthusiastic you are.  How do you maintain that positivity?

Well, the truth is that I’m just a big goof. I love having fun and I try to take things lightly and mostly just laugh at myself if things don’t go my way, because what’s the use in getting mad? I have a very “dust yourself off and get back on the horse” attitude toward derby. I’m not always going to do the right thing and I might mess some stuff up, but that’s why we practice. I just try to laugh it off and remind myself that roller derby is something that we do for fun. We are all there because we want to be. I really like fun, so I try to have it as often as possible. I love the competitiveness of roller derby, but I always make sure that even when I am in “super-serious mode”, I’m still having fun.

Photo by David Andrew Morris

How do you feel in the middle of a jam?

When I’m on the track in a bout, I am very in the “zone.” I can get pretty riled up and just want to hit everyone that isn’t my teammate. I feel pretty great and ready to implement all of the strategies that we have been practicing. The worst is when someone gets lead jammer and calls it off right away. I’m always like “Aw, I was just starting to have fun!” Haha!

What is your favorite thing about derby?

There are so many things about roller derby that I love. I think the friendships are the most important, though. I’ve met some amazing people through this sport and have gotten to travel a lot with all of these awesome girls. I’m so happy that there is this thing out there that brings strong, awesome women together as friends.

If you could go back in time and talk to your newbie self, what advice would you give her?

I had very heavy plates on my first skates. I don’t even know how I skated in them for 2 years! I just didn’t know any better. I would tell myself to get lighter plates right away and skates that actually fit well! Honestly, I think that’s about it. I think that I progressed at the only pace that I could have, no matter what the factors were. I learned so much along the way that I wouldn’t change a thing–other than those blasted first skates! Haha!

1) Enjoy the hitting

Let’s admit it, the first time you go to a roller derby bout, you’re looking for big hip-checks and skaters sprawling on the floor. That’s okay! To misquote Yogi Berra, 50% of this sport is half physical, so enjoy the big hits and the big falls.

2) Watch the jammers

The blockers focus on them most of the time; so should you. The jammers are the ones who score the points, and as a bonus they’re the ones who get hit most often. Plus, they’re easy to spot because of that star on their helmets.

3) Watch the pack, even when the jammers aren’t there

This is similar to watching the action “off the ball” in most sports: how a basketball half-court offense sets up a play, or a football defensive scheme. Watch who’s moving to the front and who’s dropping back. Look for blockers that have been isolated by their opponents. Watch how the pack changes speeds depending on where the jammers are. Watch for the refs to signal where the pack is (with arms stretched straight out, pointing to the front and back) when it starts to fall apart, and how it reforms when that happens.

Got this far? Great. You’re now a derby fan! Hopefully at this point you’re hooked, and you’ve already bought tickets to the next game. Ready for more? No worries, we’ve got plenty more…

4) Watch the referees

A good referee is part of the action. Pack refs follow the pack and signal penalties. Jam refs follow the jammers and count points with a raised hand at the end of each scoring pass. Look for a five point “grand slam”, when a jammer passes all opposing blockers as well as lapping the opposing jammer. Read the WFTDA Official Hand Signals document and learn all the penalty signals.

5) Watch the penalty box

When a team has blockers in the box, opposing jammers can score free points on those blockers. When a team’s jammer is in the box, they can’t score at all! Penalties last for one minute; when a skater has 10 seconds left, they stand up to prepare to re-enter the game.

6) Watch the skaters at the edges of the pack

“Pack definition” and the “20 foot rule” are like the Offside rule in soccer: hard to understand at first, but a critical part of game strategy and important to any fan who wants to really know the game. When blockers get too far ahead or behind the pack, listen for an “Out Of Play” warning from the referee. When the ref’s hand goes up (arm bent like an “L”), skaters have to stop what they’re doing and rejoin the pack, or they risk getting a penalty (hand comes down in a chopping motion).

At this point you’re wowing your friends with your knowledge of derby. You’ve already bought season tickets for next year. What do you mean, you still haven’t had enough? Okay, you asked for it…

7) Read the official rules

You won’t get it all on the first time through. Don’t even try. You might actually try reading them backwards—start at the end and work your way forward. But at some point, you just have to read the official wording to understand why the game is called the way it is.

8) Think about the strategy

Why did the lead jammer call off that jam? How much time is left in the period? What’s the score? Which jammers get ahead on speed, and which get ahead by letting their blockers do the heavy lifting? Which blockers rely on hard hits and which use positional blocking to stop opponents or clear a path for their jammer? How do blockers work together in pairs, or in a pack? How does a jammer get help from the blockers on their team? How quickly does a team shift from offense to defense depending on their jammer’s position? How does strategy change when a team has a numerical advantage, or when the opposing jammer is in the box?

9) Count jammer points

See if you can tally how many opposing skaters a jammer has passed. Remember, only legal in-bounds passes count, but a jammer also scores on opponents in the penalty box after earning one point on the track. You might not always get the same number as the jam ref, but the first time you call a grand slam before the jam ref signals it, the look of awe from your friends will make it worthwhile.

Still want more? Are you kidding me? Well…

10) Train as an official for your local league

At this point you’ve got the essentials down pat; the rest is just learning to recognize the finer points and respond to them quickly and accurately. Roller Derby is still a fast-growing sport and officials are in high demand across New England, North America, and the rest of the world. And hey, you’ll get into every bout for free! (No, seriously, you might just love it. Contact us for more information about becoming part of the BDD Officiating Crew.)